OK... I'll admit that I'm a huge college football fan, and a very big OU fan at that. I hope that doesn't hurt my ability to pastor you OSU, Tulsa, Notre Dame or (ugh) Texas fans. This has been an exciting year to watch, and the Big 12 south title is on the line. This week, OU plays Texas Tech, and if they win that and beat OSU (assuming Texas beats Texas A&M and Tech beats Baylor), there will be a three-way tie to find out who goes to the Big 12 Championship game. The deciding factor will be who is the highest in the BCS rankings.
All of you non-football fans, hang in there, I'm getting to the point. I keep hearing people say that you can't put Texas below OU because Texas beat OU, but if OU beats Tech, how can you put them below Tech, and how can you put Tech below Texas because they beat them? The argument goes round and round in circles. The decision of who is first is left to the opinion of a handful of people.
In Ephesians 5:21-6:9, we saw that God has clearly put certain people in leadership roles in different relationships. He did not leave it to public opinion.
The husband is the leader of a marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33). This is a God-given role that is more of a responsibility than a right. It is NOT to be abused by the husband. In fact, the majority of this passage (vs. 25-33) is used to describe how the husband is to love his wife enough to sacrifice everything including his own life. He asks the wife to give up her desire... he asks the husband to give up his life. The point here is that when a wife is always trying to "be in charge" or she is worrying about not having authority in the marriage, she has stopped focusing on the most important thing in marriage... a loving, healthy relationship. When the husband abuses his authority and tries to "put his wife in her place", he has also stopped focusing on that loving, healthy relationship. I counsel couples getting married that marriage is not 50-50 (give and take), where you each "give a little and take a little". Marriage is supposed to be 100-100, where each of you give 100% of yourself to your marriage partner. Then, you both get exactly what you need - 100% of your spouse. The key is to focus on the relationship... Wives respecting their husbands and husbands sacrificing for their wives.
The parent is the leader of the family (Ephesians 6:1-4). I assume that I am preaching to the choir since I don't expect many kids to be reading this blog. Children are to obey, and honor their parents. Children should NOT be the ones calling the shots in the family. Does that mean they don't have an opinion? No... as they grow older, they should be allowed to give input into the family, but the final decision belongs to the parents. In Nebraska, they have a law that your can relinquish your rights as parents and give your kids to the state (that wasn't the original intention of the law). Over 30% of the kids being "given" to the state are between 11 and 17 years old. I know there are some circumstances that might require this, but God has given me a responsibility to raise my children, and to lead them, and to train & instruct them in the Lord. I don't have the right to just stop! But, just like the wife/husband relationship, if I abuse my authority as a parent, or if my son or daughter are always trying to "be in charge", we miss out on the most important thing - a loving, healthy relationship that God intended for us to have.
The master (employer) is the leaders of the slave (employee) (Ephesians 6:5-9). I don't have much to say here except this... Employee, you need to WORK HARD to help your employer succeed. It will benefit YOU in the long run. Quit worrying about titles, prestige, and authority. Just work, and see what happens. Employers, you need to treat your employees with the respect they deserve. It will benefit YOU in the long run. Enough said!
Who is supposed to be #1? God has set things up the way he wanted it. That is the wrong thing to be focused on. Focus on a loving, healthy relationship. Put yourself second whenever possible. ("Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." - Luke 6:31). When you do, Jesus will be #1 every time!
1 comment:
I wish to post a comment about the paragraph about "the husband is the leader of the marriage". "The point here is that when a wife is always trying to "be in charge" or she is worrying about not having authority in the marriage, she has stopped focusing on the most important thing in marriage... a loving, healthy relationship. When the husband abuses his authority and tries to "put his wife in her place...". I understand the husband takes a direct hit from the charge against him that follows. However, I immediately think about the husband who places his wife in charge of the marriage. In my opinion this originates in a profound weakness which permeates our society: his absence, his laziness, his apathy, his selfishness, his ignorance, etc. I appreciate men who are prompted by the scripture to realize their responsibility, and strive to reach the goals to be there, to participate, to love unconditionally, to serve, to learn and improve. What a message this sends; what a standard is set; what a "hero" this makes; what a an affect on his children this is.
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